Goodbye Guilt
Goodbye Guilt
Do you struggle with guilt? Because I certainly do. If I’m working on mundane housework, some nagging little voice in the back of my mind whispers that I should be doing something more important than sweeping dirty floors. Like maybe I should be fighting against human trafficking or working to save the oceans or praying for the people leading our world.
When I’m plugging away on my book, I often have the thought float through my mind that I really ought to be volunteering more at my church — so many hurting people, so many struggling families. Yet here I am, sitting at my desk writing … a fantasy novel?!
So then I get up from the desk and make a much needed phone call to someone in a tough situation. I’ve been meaning to encourage them for weeks and now I’m finally doing it. Hooray! But while I’m on the phone, my husband or daughter or son beeps in needing my attention. Shoot! I shouldn’t have gotten caught up in this call-turned-counseling session. How do I extricate delicately so I can tend to my peeps before we’ve got drama of our own? There they are, beeping in again!
I’m short on time and find myself offering my family yet another rotisserie chicken for supper. I hate supporting factory farming and work hard on our own regenerative farm to provide better options. But speaking of that farm, I just spent a huge chunk of my afternoon trying to corral a lost calf. So now I’m exhausted and, well, it’s the grocery store chicken with a steaming side of guilt for supper. Bon Appetit!
Finally, I’m sitting here blogging right now. But you guessed it. I probably should be cleaning those dirty floors!
Round and round on the merry-go-round of guilt I go.
Seriously folks, these are not earth shattering crises. Well aware. But sometimes we survive the big emergency, only to get taken out by the low level threat that just won’t leave us alone.
Guilt (particularly false guilt) is like that. Guilt can be the bear that comes to eat you for lunch. But more often, it’s actually false guilt that’s not a bear at all. It’s just three or four flies that won’t stop swarming around your head, landing on your lunch, and stealing the joy of your lovely picnic.
So guess what. I’m ready for a fly swatter. This is a pattern for me that has existed as long as I can remember. And I’ve had it! I want to be about my Father’s business, whatever that looks like in this moment. Period. And whether that means counseling or writing or floors, if I’m there, I wanna be ALL THERE.
Seriously, if the enemy of our souls can’t get us to give up all together, I think his backup strategy is to overwhelm us ~ keep us chasing our tails and spinning our wheels. Did you ever think about the fact that while Jesus was preaching to the crowds, there were undoubtedly sick people who needed His healing touch? Or while He was praying in solitude, there were definitely brokenhearted people desperately searching for His presence?
But Jesus didn’t react to the need. He followed the Father. And I’m just gonna go out on a limb here, and say that He didn’t allow false guilt to steal His peace, rob Him of His joy.
Today, I’m writing this blog post because I have truth to tell, and somehow, it’s gotta find its way out. I’m writing the book because nothing resonates with our hearts like a story and no truth is learned better than one spun into a tale. I counsel those who are hurting because I have been deeply helped by those who have taken the time to counsel me. I tend to my farm, my family, my own body, and yes, even my dirty floors, because they matter, too. And as I walk hand in hand with my King, I increasingly get to learn His “unforced rhythms of grace.” I get to go where He is going, do what He is doing. And most important of all, I get to let go of the guilt that perpetually says I need to be doing more. I’m not God. I’m just His girl. Goodbye guilt!
No, I had never considered that Jesus was teaching while other pressing needs had to wait their turn. What a freeing concept! We are in constant danger of being overwhelmed by the existence of insatiable needs. I need to see myself as a soldier following directions as to what, if anything at the moment, is required of me. As Micah 6:8 declares, “…what does the Lord require of you…to walk humbly with your God.” Thank you.
Sarah great post. I can truly identify. How are you and your family? We are doing well. Tom is still doing well. We are a bit older and try to make the most of each day. If you are ever up to his way I would love to connect if it works for you. ❤️