When you sin –when you find yourself screwing up AGAIN — doesn’t it feel like the problem is, well… that specific sin? If you gossiped about a friend, you gotta tame that tongue. If you wasted an afternoon in self-pity, you need to make a better choice to take those thoughts captive next time. If you flew off the handle at your kids you need to work on that self-control. Sin is a sin problem. Duh, right?

This is a sensitive topic for me, but here goes. I have wrestled with my weight most of my adult life. I’m not saying I’ve been a candidate for a reality tv show or in need of bariatric surgery. But the struggle is real.

How often I speak these words! And even when I am not saying them aloud, I am saying them on the inside. Is this a woman-thing or a me-thing?

As I trek through this life with You, Jesus, it feels like we are climbing a steep mountain.  We progress up the side, handhold after handhold, scaling the face of this seemingly endless cliff.  My strength is nearly gone and the sun is fading.  But we find a cleft in the rock and gratefully ease ourselves into it for the night. 

​I’m back and I’ve missed you! This year I’ve been busily working on a book.  It’s called Loner and if you stay tuned, I hope to be telling you more about that soon!  But as a result, I have sadly neglected my blog while I poured all of my writing energy into the book.  Sorry!  But here’s the good news.  Just two weeks ago — on Thanksgiving day, in fact — I finally finished Loner!  Yahoo!!!  Did you hear the fireworks and the marching band?!?!

Do you struggle to distinguish the voice of God from all the other “voices” in your head? Now — don’t hear what I’m not saying — I’m not accusing you of “hearing voices” or admitting the same of myself. But, you know what I mean… that constant internal nagging that I “shoulda, coulda, wish I woulda!” All the stuff we said (and spend the rest of the day wishing we wouldn’t have) the stuff we did (and hope no one ever reminds us of) or the stuff we failed to do (and fear that maybe God is quietly mad at us about it.) You know… that stuff!

I awoke this morning to the new month and to this thought — spring is coming! I love the return of blooming things and warmer winds. My winter-weary heart leaps for joy at the thought of baby animals and evening walks. I crave the loosening up of the world, battened down tightly against winter, now unfurling itself by degrees, checking tentatively to see if it’s safe to come out and play.

Every year in January, our church does a corporate fast. Everyone is asked to give up some things that please the flesh (think desserts, soda, television, etc.) choosing instead to turn in prayer for ourselves, our community, and our broken world.

In the mornings when my sweet hubby puts on his farm coat and heads toward the pasture, our cattle get excited — really excited.

I yearn to be truly seen. I long to be deeply known. It’s a hardwired desire in the human heart and I am definitely no exception. But…